'Bah Humbug' to New Year’s Resolutions

I'm too old, wise, and an optimistic learner to have New Year's Resolutions

When I was young and naive, I sincerely believed in the fine tradition of making vague and unattainable New Years Resolutions. Not any more!


1. I am older. 

I no longer make popular and nebulous goals like “lose weight”. Instead, I think of the three inspiring friends, all in my age range, who took better (read “sensible”) care of themselves this last year and shed 25 pounds each.

I tell myself to act like my heroines, and pretend to be them. I tell myself things they would say, like, “Let’s go on a walk,” or “I can easily enjoy tonight without dessert,” and then, do them.

Easy short-term goals that fit my vision of who I want to become are… well, easy!

2. I am wiser.

I know the statistical probability of keeping promises I force myself to make during this ultra-busy and often stressful time of the year. I’m waiting until a more sane time of the year to make new goals, but only if I need to.

Frankly, I already have really wonderful goals, so I don’t need more.

But then again, I admit there maybe goals I don’t know about. What if I had life-altering visits by ghosts, like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol?

Hey, I’m open to that!

3. I am still learning.

Although I have fewer brain cells and less energy, I’m not letting them get in the way of my toddler-like optimism for learning.

In the last year, I’ve learned from new research and evidence-based practices, courtesy of compassionate geniuses. Although I often wish I could have been jolted with these moments of “A-ha!” years ago, I’m grateful I know them now.

There are six wonderfully practical tools that empower parents struggling with children’s difficult emotions and behaviors. There are hopeful paradigms for couples wanting to heal from hurtful extramarital affairs. There are three simple ways to self-regulate back from traumatic flashbacks that cripple people’s daily lives.

Yes, I have goals. I have big dreamy ones and little manageable ones. I just don’t call them “New Year’s Resolutions.”


http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/ http://www.handinhandparenting.org/



Gary Hinze January 01, 2013 at 10:41 PM
Thanks for that trauma link. I forwarded it to Vietnam Veterans Against the War. They provide support services to veterans of all wars.
Grace "Megumi" Fleming January 02, 2013 at 08:44 PM
Gary, thanks! I hope Vietnam Veterans Against the War seriously considers Trauma Resource Institute's "community model" as well as the model for clinicians. The basic community model, which anybody, even children, can learn, is powerfully practical, efficient and cost-effective. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.


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