Thief Drops Urn With Freud’s Ashes in Failed Burglary

Thief Drops Urn With Freud’s Ashes in Failed Burglary:  Police say a thief trying to steal an ancient urn containing the ashes of famous psychotherapist Sigmund Freud from a London crematorium, dropped it while trying to climb over a gate.  Sure sounds like classic a “Freudian Slip” to me.

STD Rates Rising in Older People:  Experts are blaming lack of condom use for the dramatic rise in STDs among single senior citizens.  You’d think there’d be more condom use since so many elderly seem to live in condominiums. 


Clayton Kershaw Signs $215 Million Contract:  Dodger ace Clayton Kershaw has just signed a 7-year $215 million contract, making him the highest paid pitcher in baseball history.  Kind of makes you wonder where are our priorities as a society when we’re paying all that money to a guy who may not even be able to dribble a basketball.

David Cassidy Charged With Another DUI:  Former 1970’s Partridge Family teen idol David Cassidy has been arrested yet again while exiting an LA freeway and charged with drunk driving, making this his third DUI arrest since 2010.  This guy’s been busted so much that even Justin Bieber is like “dude, chill out a bit.” 


Documents Show Pope Benedict Defrocked 400 Priests in 2 Years:  A new document obtained by the Associated Press has revealed that Pope Benedict XVI defrocked about 400 priests between the years 2011 and 2012 for molesting children.  All I can say is, its about frocking time!

Nancy Grace Claims People Who Smoke Pot Commit Violent Crimes:  On a recent airing of her HLN show, Nancy Grace came out against legalization of marijuana, claiming that people on marijuana shoot, stab and strangle each other.  I have a hunch that if someone did a study, they would find that people who watch Nancy Grace’s show are far more likely to shoot, strangle and kill whole families than anyone smoking pot!

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